Reflecting on the new age, I have a sense of disbelief and anger. Labels, identity, and inclusivity have become essential in our modern world. Everywhere we go, we’re consistently reevaluating our beliefs and values. Does everyone need to think deeply about where we belong in the world? How do we best contribute to the world? It is a time of great potential and great uncertainty.
I understand change and being inclusive to everybody. In an attempt to be inclusive to everybody, some people are losing their access to inclusivity. In my personal experience as a woman at this age, I am struggling to keep some of the rights women in the past had fought for me to have. Simple rights like Women being mothers rather than a birth-giver. Why are women's rights always sacrificed to make everybody else happy? I am open to other labels, but that does not mean the new default should be birth-giver.
Examining my labels and their impact on my life in the new age
In college through the instructions of my orientation leaders, I told everyone my pronouns. I was OK with that because I was the one labeling myself. Everybody else was able to do the same thing. Labels describe you; they are descriptive words. They put you in categories with other groups of people. Descriptive terms have the ability to share who you are with the world. Sometimes you find individuals that share labels with you; you become closer to that person or even build a community. Now everything a person does reflects on everybody else that shares that same label. You cannot generalize a group of people based on labels that make up their identity.
As a Haitian American woman, I am constantly in conversations where people say I hate men because they are all the same. Sometimes I want to say the same thing is said to scrutinize every minority group. To help with the problem, you should not do what others do to you. I know other minority groups do not like being generalized or put in a bubble where they cannot escape. Now if everyone does not like generalizations based on a group, then why do we continue doing it to each other? My parents say; when someone takes the low road, you take the high road.
We cannot break down human beings based on their labels, categories, or communities because every individual is complex and unique.
Labels shape our self-image. It shapes the way we conduct ourselves in relationships, and it also shapes what we do in life and how we react to certain situations.
I am a Haitian American black woman, a first-generation college student, and a first-generation American creative individual. Now those are just some of the things that build up my identity. Continuing on with the list, I am an Aries, and I am short-tempered. Other characteristics are ambitious, strong-minded, very confident, and very talented. Additionally, I speak what’s on my mind, and if I say something behind someone’s back, know that I said it in front of their faces as well.
I went through so many things that make up my identity. I realized that the only person who needed to know about my labels was me.
The labels I share with people make assumptions about situations based on what is considered the default for that label.
For instance, the default for white men in society is that they are very privileged, entitled, and oblivious to their privilege. While true about some men, there are men who do not enjoy that privilege as others would think.
One thing examining my own labels has done for me is open my mind to the fact that because I know something about someone does not mean I know them. It has also allowed me to limit how I look at a person and immediately assume that I know their whole life and what is going on in their situation.
Embracing change in the new age
Change is always something hard to accept. It is easy to stay in a little bubble where you know all the answers. Change allows a bubble to open up for more room to grow and more opportunities.
I want to acknowledge change does bring on negative things. That is why we don’t like to escape from our comfort zone. Because when we leave our comfort zone, we may be in a bad situation.
For instance, I had to adjust to knowing that there are more than two pronouns. Before college, it was either she/her or he/him, and now after college, I know that there is they and them. Now all that could’ve been a good change. I’m more inclusive and understand current events in my world. Some changes embraced open floodgates to more. I have a cut-off point when it comes to pronouns. My cut-off point is they/them. They/them provide inclusivity for any individual that does not identify as she/her or he/him. But every time I hear another pronoun, I think was that necessary or are we just looking for attention now? Now that may sound harsh, but one pronoun I’ve heard is sponge/sponge-self. It’s hard to wrap my head around someone wanting to identify as a sponge. Another one I’ve heard of is void/void-self. Does that mean that you do not exist?
The New World is fastly approaching more pronouns will become the new norm. I do not see myself conforming to the New World. There are changes that I can make to be more inclusive to individuals around me, but there are some changes that I refuse to make. It makes no sense to jeopardize my sanity every time someone wants to change something. You are either respectful, or you don’t say anything. This is my platform; I can say anything I want on here, and anyone who does not like it could log off. In real life, if someone is saying something I cannot sit through, I can walk away. While this may sometimes ruin friendships, it will keep me sane.
I want to stay open to changes while also keeping in mind that there are some things that I will refuse to change. Earlier in the article, I spoke about the term birth giver. Nothing someone can say to me would make me answer to the word, birth giver. And this is one of the reasons I feel like certain rights I had might change because my being called a birth giver has never been in my plans and never will be. I understand asking an individual what term they use for someone who has given birth but that does not change what I want to be called as a woman
Sometimes a new concept may arise, and I don’t know how I feel yet because I haven’t done all the research. In those cases, I walk away and look at the bigger picture. I look at the positive and negative. Lastly, I look at if it is necessary.
For the most part, I try to stay present and focused in our new age. Based on what was discussed, I see that the future is uncertain. I can focus on sharing my voice now, and hope I don’t get canceled in the future based on what I believe.
How do I fit into the new age?
This post is the first in the series: How do I fit in the new age? I believe this will be a constant conversation; I will not find the answers any time soon. Exploring my identity in the new age will be challenging, but I will find a group of people no matter how small. Being on a journey for self-discovery shows me where I fit into the world and where I do not fit in.
I am exposed to many ideas and many innovative thoughts and discussions. On some level, there are things that I will learn to adapt to in the changing world. It will definitely be a process, and at times I’ll get it on the first try, and sometimes it will take me making mistakes to realize. One thing that I hope for my future self is that I can learn from my mistakes and grow through them.
But one thing I have always done my whole life and will continue to embrace is my individuality and being proud of who I am. I am unique and complex, and my differences make me special. It’s been a long time since I’ve let someone put me down or change who I am. I don’t plan on starting now. I’ve learned to be open to making new experiences and trying new things. I’ve learned to be very flexible and willing to research before saying no and finding out what works best for me. I have the willingness to make mistakes.
I’ve definitely learned there is no mold. There is no cookie cutter that makes everyone the same and makes me follow a path to success.
Everyone has to find their own way. I don’t believe I’ll ever stop trying to find my way through this new world, and I don’t believe there’s a point where I will know all the answers. It’s a process; all I can do is continue living my life with no regrets. What I will ask everyone to do is reflect on the new road and see where you think you fit in or your challenges in this new world. I encourage you to constantly think through the many things thrown at you to see what fits.
Conclusion
We live in a world where labels are everywhere. We’re constantly being judged and labeled by people around us. It can be hard to find your true identity and sense of self in a world with many labels. Many people want to throw labels at you and trick you into accepting labels that aren’t part of your identity.
We can create our own identity and live life on our own terms. Labels don’t define us, and they don’t tell you who you are. They are a part of you, not the roadmap to figuring out everything about you. It’s time to break free we can embrace this new age while being conscious of it. We will know who we are every step of the way if we look within ourselves and not look within the world to find out who we are. If you’re ready to explore your identity, feel free to follow my blog
and this identity project where I will be sharing parts of my identity.
I have different projects that I post on my blog, but some of the posts will be tips and pieces of advice on how to create your own identity. I hope that you will take your life into your own hands and make your own identity before someone makes it for you. You're not powerless, and only you can choose who you are.
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